re-watched 'alien' for the first time in a whole lot of years over the weekend. i submit, the movie as it is billed is not the movie they are showing us.
part the first: relative technology levels.
we have a highly advanced level of tech on earth, to the point where long distance space travel is commercially available, realistic androids can be created (and pass for human!), and computing power has come to the point where deciphering an unknown alien language can be done in a matter of hours.
the nostromo's landing craft breaks when they land the fucking thing. none of their video monitors work reliably, and the resolution sucks. the whole damn ship is rusting and falling the hell apart, which is a known issue because they have enough spare parts to fix some of the mechanical failures during the course of the film.
part the second: the crew.
oh jesus. this is where everything started going south for me. go watch the movie, and then point out any single instance, ever, in the entire film, where someone made a non-retarded decision.
mission paramters expanded? great, let's go check the new place out with no gear or training for such.
unknown biological agent just destroyed the hell out of one of our suits and crewmembers? let's bring that fucker onboard IMMEDIATELY. OBVIOUSLY NOTHING CAN GO WRONG HERE, AND FUCK YOU FOR SUGGESTING WE STICK WITH THE 24 HOUR QUARANTINE PROTOCOL. yes, the crew gets into a fight about whether or not to bring an obviously hostile organism onboard. the voice of sanity is shouted down, so they DO.
oh god the extremely fast and nimble hostile alien got loose. let us go look for it using nothing but our bare hands, and some glow-sticks. we have no need for protective gear, or to seal off areas, or even to SHUT THE FUCKING DOORS. this fails to get worse, only because the thing has already died. zero points for the crew there.
giant alien kills another crew member. the rest of the crew takes a leisurely meeting to decide what to do. they send it more food. again, no protective gear, weapons, tactics, backup, or communications apart from "run! run! it's coming! oh god it's right on top of you, don't run that way! *chomp*"
this is the point in the movie where i realized the short haired woman was a sociopath and out to kill everyone on board. she's done nothing up till this point but yell at people for following safety procedures, but during the air vent scene she actively hinders dallas and gets him killed.
at this point, the surviving 4 crew members have another leisurely meeting and decide not to go anywhere alone. the score, for those following at home, is alien: 3, crew: 0.
all four then go off alone.
only one of them is armed, none of them are wearing any kind of armor. which they MUST HAVE ON BOARD. the ship is a fucking tow ship / refinery, they have safety gear. hard hats at least.
a.i. goes nuts, 3 crew left.
two of those then head off, with one weapon between them. alien shows up, and the short haired woman sits down to scream. token black guy instead of incinerating her and the alien then runs up and gently shoves the super strong 8 foot tall acid blooded engine of space death.
things go poorly.
alien: 5, crew: 0.
the alien at this point is tired of killing everything, and goes for nappy time. ripley notices it, and takes 5 minutes to suit up, move it in front of an airlock door, and then shoot it out into space. the alien lets this happen without protest.
ok, so we have a movie filled with absolutely moronic decision making by people who should know better. unless.
i submit: the nostromo's function as a tow ship / refinery is it's secondary purpose. in the future, earth has advanced to a point where space travel is cheap enough that regular jackoffs can get jobs on freighters, etc. there are still laws against outright killing the handicapped, but overpopulation has made it very attractive to simply put the less intelligent and productive members of society on broken down floating barges, telling the 'crew' that they're space miners and to bring back minerals and whatnot to earth when or if they find it. if the crew dies, oh well, we lost a ship that should have been decommissioned decades ago. if not, hey, resources that we're running out of back on earth. good job guys, here's a happy meal, now get back out into space.
and so, my point: 'alien' - tards in space.
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