Short nonsense

Again. Because I like the format.

"I lit you on fire, poisoned you, and stabbed you that one time. You're like Rasputin."
"also, you shot me, and made me sleep with _______. And I know I'm going to hell for tossing that last one in with the other four."

"Christ Metal works? Jesus was metal."
"they made the nails."

"It's five in the morning!"
"we were [up] til seven last night!"

"You don't have problems, your life is low budget porn. Really, really low budget porn."

"And you. (asshole.)"

"You threw lit cigarettes at me all day!"
"that's because you're a pussy. I'm still going to kick you in the balls."

"Do you think your dad still remembers the time I hit him in the knee with a baseball bat?"
"i fucking hope not, we don't have one with us this time."

"So, there's a drunk girl passed out on my floor. What was I supposed to do?"
"throw her ass out the back door before your wife comes back?"
"Fuck it, we're getting divorced today anyhow."

Well, this certainly goes in the category of "Shit I Can't Easily Verify"

World average cock size map.

I like stuff from the disinformation company, it's not like I surf the web all day looking to see if my neighbors are statistically likely to have giant peckers. That being said, I really wonder how this data was collected. I don't really remember a dick measuring question any of the times I've seen a doctor, but granted in the last 10 years, every time I've been to a doctor has required stitches or x-rays. I still haven't decided if I'm going to laugh more if this data is accurate, or inaccurate.


And I'm not saying shit about how where I fall on the scale.

Madison, unions, etc

Yeah, this is pretty much my take on the Walker driven union clusterfuck in Madison too.

A short blurb as enticement for the link averse: "Further, you can start a new job, provided that that job you miraculously find actually has better benefits or pay or hours than the one you just left, despite an unemployment climate so dire that employers know they can make cuts with impunity because they're competing against virtually no one. It's a nauseating reality that Americans are supposed to be grateful for the pittance of employment opportunity that does exist, if at all, and that American conservatives sneer at those unhappy with the offering. It's like watching a real-life reenactment of that scene in Oliver Twist, except Oliver asks the man running the orphanage if he can eat something other than a bucket of human shit, and the man beats him in the face and tells him that, if he likes food so much, he should just grow an extra set of parents."

Deadpool!

Deadpool has been my favorite Marvel character since shortly after his first or second limited series, back when Juggernaut was trying to capture him to fix up Black Tom or something like that. I don't remember how old I was, but in two issues Deadpool had busied himself with
- bitching about how with his face, he couldn't even get served at Taco Bell
- drinking to get over that fact at a shitty bar
- blowing up said bar
- hitting on Siryn. Poorly.
- taunting Juggernaut
- taunting a swordsman
- losing a hand to swordsman, and chalking that up to "[...]showing off for the broad! That was my favorite hand!"
and generally packing in more mayhem and shit-talkery into 30 pages than any other character I'd seen before (or since).

Fast forward a couple years, and I've also been reading the webcomic Dr. Mcninja. Easily the best ongoing thing to get spawned from the somthingawful forums, and with far, far better art and writing than any webcomic deserves.

And now, Chris Hastings is writing Deadpool.

Internet, sometimes you do something to make me forget all the goatse, rickrolling, and facebook bullshit you've done.

my friends are assholes

i'm actually in a good mood

"I can fix that"

you don't need to do that, i have a tranny that takes care of that for me.

"No, I think this needs to be addressed immediately."

goddammit.

"So, you suck at bass."

this is not news.

"Your fondness for arty girls with fucked up colored hair is well documented"
"You're a wiry guy."

you can shut up any time.

"And now you even have a fake highschool girlfriend. When, exactly, did you decide to be scott pilgrim?"

i am going spend the next week inventing a way to turn rage into a power source, build a car that runs on it, and then i will take my hatemobile and run over your entire family.

"That's what you get for opening your whore mouth."

thanks oglaf

this is a fairly accurate depiction of my flirting technique when i'm out of chloroform.
brilliant.

r.i.p. guitar hero

Activision is shutting the doors on the Guitar Hero franchise. This is the least surprising video game announcement I can think of. Guitar Hero, as a 'thing', has been dead in the water since just after the launch of Rock Band. Sure, the sales figures were good for a while, but for comparison:
In the time it took us to get Rock Band 1 and 2 (I am leaving out the Green Day, Beatles, etc expansions and sticking to just main releases) Guitar Hero dropped World Tour, 5, Warriors of Rock, Metallica, Van Halen, and Smash Hits.
Rock Band has 1200+ songs. Guitar Hero has. . . less than that. When Harmonix announced they had 500 downloadable songs, Guitar Hero had fewer than 100 available.
This is a matter of personal preference I know, but I think it's worth mentioning; Rock Band has the superior fake plastic guitars.
Oh, and the quality of the charting and gameplay was noticeably better, again, in my opinion, with Rock Band. The time frame you have to hit the keys is a tiny bit more lax in RB, making the game easier overall. I also felt that the charting was less retarded, there are songs in GH (3, especially) that are only hard because the chord progressions are fucking murder on your fingers, the charting on RB is like that on fewer songs, the hard songs are rarely hard just because the chords were selected to be difficult to transition to and from.