my friends are assholes

i'm actually in a good mood

"I can fix that"

you don't need to do that, i have a tranny that takes care of that for me.

"No, I think this needs to be addressed immediately."

goddammit.

"So, you suck at bass."

this is not news.

"Your fondness for arty girls with fucked up colored hair is well documented"
"You're a wiry guy."

you can shut up any time.

"And now you even have a fake highschool girlfriend. When, exactly, did you decide to be scott pilgrim?"

i am going spend the next week inventing a way to turn rage into a power source, build a car that runs on it, and then i will take my hatemobile and run over your entire family.

"That's what you get for opening your whore mouth."

re: care, and the wording of wishes

1) after further dicking around with my phone, i have found that i can get and send email with it.
2) a handful of people at larp have been telling me for years that i need to become more active on the email lists since no one knows who the hell i am outside of the midwest.

result? i am now trolling the clan while drinking beverages in a variety of locations.
a somewhat more careful wording of the original wish might have been "be sober, and speak with others in the clan without referring to them as worthless pussies, possibly bringing up various subjects of interest to the clan."