Short nonsense

Again. Because I like the format.

"I lit you on fire, poisoned you, and stabbed you that one time. You're like Rasputin."
"also, you shot me, and made me sleep with _______. And I know I'm going to hell for tossing that last one in with the other four."

"Christ Metal works? Jesus was metal."
"they made the nails."

"It's five in the morning!"
"we were [up] til seven last night!"

"You don't have problems, your life is low budget porn. Really, really low budget porn."

"And you. (asshole.)"

"You threw lit cigarettes at me all day!"
"that's because you're a pussy. I'm still going to kick you in the balls."

"Do you think your dad still remembers the time I hit him in the knee with a baseball bat?"
"i fucking hope not, we don't have one with us this time."

"So, there's a drunk girl passed out on my floor. What was I supposed to do?"
"throw her ass out the back door before your wife comes back?"
"Fuck it, we're getting divorced today anyhow."