John 11:35

I don't know what amount of drugs were involved in this process, but the sum total must be truly massive.
Hollywood is making a live action version of Akira. Now. This, this I could deal with. There was word about a live action Evangelion movie for a while there, and an adaptation of Cowboy Bebop (and, if I'm remembering right, Keanu Reeves was going to be Spike, which could work). I'm not opposed to the idea, per se, but the execution, well now this is where everything starts imploding.

Akira is a movie / comic with a couple, uh, what do you call them, themes. Turns out, they're part of what makes it a "good thing". One of these is "Being Fucking Japanese", another is "Oh shit, our civilization and cities are fragile things".
So, the Hollywood decision to move the setting from Neo Tokyo to New York and re-cast the whole thing with the whitest people this side of Sarah Palin . . . displeases me. I can only assume changing Tetsuo's name to Travis was done purely out of spite.

Can we get a law or rule passed? Something to the effect of "If you have to rape all of the originality, characterization, themes, and settings out of a foreign movie to show it in America: Don't Show It Here."

Christ. Brockway has an opinion as well, his has pictures.

A day of Victory

Couple things:

1) Vacation's over, back to work on Monday.

2) Summer Shandy is back in stores. And that is a fine, fine beverage.

3) The best kids art project ever. Fuck yes "Draw Cthulhu".

We celebrate with the most adorable Motorhead video I've seen. Motorhead, DiGi Charat, and a Triple H theme song.

Short nonsense

Again. Because I like the format.

"I lit you on fire, poisoned you, and stabbed you that one time. You're like Rasputin."
"also, you shot me, and made me sleep with _______. And I know I'm going to hell for tossing that last one in with the other four."

"Christ Metal works? Jesus was metal."
"they made the nails."

"It's five in the morning!"
"we were [up] til seven last night!"

"You don't have problems, your life is low budget porn. Really, really low budget porn."

"And you. (asshole.)"

"You threw lit cigarettes at me all day!"
"that's because you're a pussy. I'm still going to kick you in the balls."

"Do you think your dad still remembers the time I hit him in the knee with a baseball bat?"
"i fucking hope not, we don't have one with us this time."

"So, there's a drunk girl passed out on my floor. What was I supposed to do?"
"throw her ass out the back door before your wife comes back?"
"Fuck it, we're getting divorced today anyhow."

Well, this certainly goes in the category of "Shit I Can't Easily Verify"

World average cock size map.

I like stuff from the disinformation company, it's not like I surf the web all day looking to see if my neighbors are statistically likely to have giant peckers. That being said, I really wonder how this data was collected. I don't really remember a dick measuring question any of the times I've seen a doctor, but granted in the last 10 years, every time I've been to a doctor has required stitches or x-rays. I still haven't decided if I'm going to laugh more if this data is accurate, or inaccurate.


And I'm not saying shit about how where I fall on the scale.

Madison, unions, etc

Yeah, this is pretty much my take on the Walker driven union clusterfuck in Madison too.

A short blurb as enticement for the link averse: "Further, you can start a new job, provided that that job you miraculously find actually has better benefits or pay or hours than the one you just left, despite an unemployment climate so dire that employers know they can make cuts with impunity because they're competing against virtually no one. It's a nauseating reality that Americans are supposed to be grateful for the pittance of employment opportunity that does exist, if at all, and that American conservatives sneer at those unhappy with the offering. It's like watching a real-life reenactment of that scene in Oliver Twist, except Oliver asks the man running the orphanage if he can eat something other than a bucket of human shit, and the man beats him in the face and tells him that, if he likes food so much, he should just grow an extra set of parents."

Deadpool!

Deadpool has been my favorite Marvel character since shortly after his first or second limited series, back when Juggernaut was trying to capture him to fix up Black Tom or something like that. I don't remember how old I was, but in two issues Deadpool had busied himself with
- bitching about how with his face, he couldn't even get served at Taco Bell
- drinking to get over that fact at a shitty bar
- blowing up said bar
- hitting on Siryn. Poorly.
- taunting Juggernaut
- taunting a swordsman
- losing a hand to swordsman, and chalking that up to "[...]showing off for the broad! That was my favorite hand!"
and generally packing in more mayhem and shit-talkery into 30 pages than any other character I'd seen before (or since).

Fast forward a couple years, and I've also been reading the webcomic Dr. Mcninja. Easily the best ongoing thing to get spawned from the somthingawful forums, and with far, far better art and writing than any webcomic deserves.

And now, Chris Hastings is writing Deadpool.

Internet, sometimes you do something to make me forget all the goatse, rickrolling, and facebook bullshit you've done.

my friends are assholes

i'm actually in a good mood

"I can fix that"

you don't need to do that, i have a tranny that takes care of that for me.

"No, I think this needs to be addressed immediately."

goddammit.

"So, you suck at bass."

this is not news.

"Your fondness for arty girls with fucked up colored hair is well documented"
"You're a wiry guy."

you can shut up any time.

"And now you even have a fake highschool girlfriend. When, exactly, did you decide to be scott pilgrim?"

i am going spend the next week inventing a way to turn rage into a power source, build a car that runs on it, and then i will take my hatemobile and run over your entire family.

"That's what you get for opening your whore mouth."