Public service announcement

This comes courtesy of Kaoklai Kaennorsing, Muay Thai, and your local hospital's triage team.
Do not, repeat: DO NOT, let little asian dudes kick you in the head, it will turn you into a motherfucking zombie.

I don't know why I haven't been killed yet either.

Or: Why there is no measurable difference between me in a good mood vs. me in a shitty mood.

Or: Things you really, really shouldn't say / do in bed.

To protect the guilty, I am not putting names up for any of this. Was reminded this weekend of my lack of a 'filter' to keep me from saying horrible shit that I personally find amusing, regardless of circumstance, in this case; mid/post coital.


"Are you ticklish?"
'yes?'
"Neat! So's your sister!"

"Be colder. Move less."

"Happy birthday, Grandma!"

"Chad, you're awesome!"

"That'll teach you to say you have standards in public."

"Ha Ha!", followed by giggling, clapping and pointing at my nether regions.

"Sorry about the herpes."

"Well, that was degrading for everyone involved. 10 minutes?"

"You know [name redacted] is going to commit suicide over this right? Because I'm not sure I can avoid telling them. And touching myself while doing so."

"My new nickname for you is 'Scott's sock drawer'"

Goddammit

I swear, this isn't the "I drink like a fucking maniac, ha ha" blog.
But.

Well. Science.

It's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it

I drink, because I'm obviously a fucking genius.

surprising exactly no one

I am a fan of Nirvana. And have most of the albums from every artist in the top 8 on that poll.

Fuck it, in the words of a softer world, 'we're all going to die. i intend to deserve it.'

John 11:35

I don't know what amount of drugs were involved in this process, but the sum total must be truly massive.
Hollywood is making a live action version of Akira. Now. This, this I could deal with. There was word about a live action Evangelion movie for a while there, and an adaptation of Cowboy Bebop (and, if I'm remembering right, Keanu Reeves was going to be Spike, which could work). I'm not opposed to the idea, per se, but the execution, well now this is where everything starts imploding.

Akira is a movie / comic with a couple, uh, what do you call them, themes. Turns out, they're part of what makes it a "good thing". One of these is "Being Fucking Japanese", another is "Oh shit, our civilization and cities are fragile things".
So, the Hollywood decision to move the setting from Neo Tokyo to New York and re-cast the whole thing with the whitest people this side of Sarah Palin . . . displeases me. I can only assume changing Tetsuo's name to Travis was done purely out of spite.

Can we get a law or rule passed? Something to the effect of "If you have to rape all of the originality, characterization, themes, and settings out of a foreign movie to show it in America: Don't Show It Here."

Christ. Brockway has an opinion as well, his has pictures.

A day of Victory

Couple things:

1) Vacation's over, back to work on Monday.

2) Summer Shandy is back in stores. And that is a fine, fine beverage.

3) The best kids art project ever. Fuck yes "Draw Cthulhu".

We celebrate with the most adorable Motorhead video I've seen. Motorhead, DiGi Charat, and a Triple H theme song.

Short nonsense

Again. Because I like the format.

"I lit you on fire, poisoned you, and stabbed you that one time. You're like Rasputin."
"also, you shot me, and made me sleep with _______. And I know I'm going to hell for tossing that last one in with the other four."

"Christ Metal works? Jesus was metal."
"they made the nails."

"It's five in the morning!"
"we were [up] til seven last night!"

"You don't have problems, your life is low budget porn. Really, really low budget porn."

"And you. (asshole.)"

"You threw lit cigarettes at me all day!"
"that's because you're a pussy. I'm still going to kick you in the balls."

"Do you think your dad still remembers the time I hit him in the knee with a baseball bat?"
"i fucking hope not, we don't have one with us this time."

"So, there's a drunk girl passed out on my floor. What was I supposed to do?"
"throw her ass out the back door before your wife comes back?"
"Fuck it, we're getting divorced today anyhow."

Well, this certainly goes in the category of "Shit I Can't Easily Verify"

World average cock size map.

I like stuff from the disinformation company, it's not like I surf the web all day looking to see if my neighbors are statistically likely to have giant peckers. That being said, I really wonder how this data was collected. I don't really remember a dick measuring question any of the times I've seen a doctor, but granted in the last 10 years, every time I've been to a doctor has required stitches or x-rays. I still haven't decided if I'm going to laugh more if this data is accurate, or inaccurate.


And I'm not saying shit about how where I fall on the scale.

Madison, unions, etc

Yeah, this is pretty much my take on the Walker driven union clusterfuck in Madison too.

A short blurb as enticement for the link averse: "Further, you can start a new job, provided that that job you miraculously find actually has better benefits or pay or hours than the one you just left, despite an unemployment climate so dire that employers know they can make cuts with impunity because they're competing against virtually no one. It's a nauseating reality that Americans are supposed to be grateful for the pittance of employment opportunity that does exist, if at all, and that American conservatives sneer at those unhappy with the offering. It's like watching a real-life reenactment of that scene in Oliver Twist, except Oliver asks the man running the orphanage if he can eat something other than a bucket of human shit, and the man beats him in the face and tells him that, if he likes food so much, he should just grow an extra set of parents."

Deadpool!

Deadpool has been my favorite Marvel character since shortly after his first or second limited series, back when Juggernaut was trying to capture him to fix up Black Tom or something like that. I don't remember how old I was, but in two issues Deadpool had busied himself with
- bitching about how with his face, he couldn't even get served at Taco Bell
- drinking to get over that fact at a shitty bar
- blowing up said bar
- hitting on Siryn. Poorly.
- taunting Juggernaut
- taunting a swordsman
- losing a hand to swordsman, and chalking that up to "[...]showing off for the broad! That was my favorite hand!"
and generally packing in more mayhem and shit-talkery into 30 pages than any other character I'd seen before (or since).

Fast forward a couple years, and I've also been reading the webcomic Dr. Mcninja. Easily the best ongoing thing to get spawned from the somthingawful forums, and with far, far better art and writing than any webcomic deserves.

And now, Chris Hastings is writing Deadpool.

Internet, sometimes you do something to make me forget all the goatse, rickrolling, and facebook bullshit you've done.

my friends are assholes

i'm actually in a good mood

"I can fix that"

you don't need to do that, i have a tranny that takes care of that for me.

"No, I think this needs to be addressed immediately."

goddammit.

"So, you suck at bass."

this is not news.

"Your fondness for arty girls with fucked up colored hair is well documented"
"You're a wiry guy."

you can shut up any time.

"And now you even have a fake highschool girlfriend. When, exactly, did you decide to be scott pilgrim?"

i am going spend the next week inventing a way to turn rage into a power source, build a car that runs on it, and then i will take my hatemobile and run over your entire family.

"That's what you get for opening your whore mouth."

thanks oglaf

this is a fairly accurate depiction of my flirting technique when i'm out of chloroform.
brilliant.

r.i.p. guitar hero

Activision is shutting the doors on the Guitar Hero franchise. This is the least surprising video game announcement I can think of. Guitar Hero, as a 'thing', has been dead in the water since just after the launch of Rock Band. Sure, the sales figures were good for a while, but for comparison:
In the time it took us to get Rock Band 1 and 2 (I am leaving out the Green Day, Beatles, etc expansions and sticking to just main releases) Guitar Hero dropped World Tour, 5, Warriors of Rock, Metallica, Van Halen, and Smash Hits.
Rock Band has 1200+ songs. Guitar Hero has. . . less than that. When Harmonix announced they had 500 downloadable songs, Guitar Hero had fewer than 100 available.
This is a matter of personal preference I know, but I think it's worth mentioning; Rock Band has the superior fake plastic guitars.
Oh, and the quality of the charting and gameplay was noticeably better, again, in my opinion, with Rock Band. The time frame you have to hit the keys is a tiny bit more lax in RB, making the game easier overall. I also felt that the charting was less retarded, there are songs in GH (3, especially) that are only hard because the chord progressions are fucking murder on your fingers, the charting on RB is like that on fewer songs, the hard songs are rarely hard just because the chords were selected to be difficult to transition to and from.

oh look, this is my shocked face

ayn rand is full of shit.
i cannot believe that the founder of a philosophy that it takes all of a half semester of logic, philosophy, psychology, or sociology to tear into shreds would also be forced to live contrary to her own principles to make ends meet.

still waiting on someone to clip ann coulter or rush limbaugh in the knee with a 9mm round to see if it changes their viewpoint on gun control laws.

this is exactly how ethical i am.

so, i usually pay "money" for cds and music, like a "fucking idiot". that being said, i still use soulseek here and there to check new things out or to grab the one decent song a band managed to cobble together.

soulseek is a pretty substandard tool though, so i'm looking for a new / more efficient way to grab a couple albums.
comments or emails will be much appreciated.

in the event that you're wondering what fuckall horrible nonsense i'm after at the moment, the short list is as follows:
corrosion of conformity - deliverance
straight faced - guilty, broken
i against i - headcleaner
zero down - with a lifetime to pay

i'd feel bad about ripping off punk rock bands, but the only one of those that's still even around in any fashion is c.o.c.

and, as an aside to tarcos, i did find a band i listen to that was formed in the last decade. 'lights out god help me'. so, you know, there's one.

and i didn't even lose that much blood

so, the set's finally fucking done. after fighting with substandard materials, a lack of proper tools, daily revisions and changes, 90% of the help never showing up, and the space i need to work in being booked more or less solid until just before the show opened, the set has been built, painted, and no longer needs my attention.
shit that made it to the blooper reel:

- dropped a screw and drove a power drill into my finger. thankfully, the bones in my knuckle stopped the bit before it marred the 2x4. bled all over the damn place, managed not to swear in the presence of church folk.

- actually broke that same bit removing a stray screw from some of the random hazardous lumber.

- held temper in check when actor guy showed up to help, started blasting the greatest hits of amy grant and hurting himself on every surface possible. i had not previously seen someone supposedly familiar with power tools injure themself 4 times in 15 minutes with just a drill.

- stepped on exposed 4" screw in 3x6. registered mild annoyance, used claw hammer to remove shoe from board.

- rebuilt half of the platforms, supports, and braces available due to their entirely shitty construction and / or patch jobs done with fucking shoelaces and scotch tape.

now, i am going to spend a couple days recuperating, and by that i mean playing a couple rounds of 'fuck my liver' with mr. miller high life, and then i'm going to have to go back and tear it all down.