Do not do this

Ok fuckers, I didn't think this was actually going to be necessary, but be advised:
Whereas my phone is a piece of shit (a), and I occasionally do things which will render me unresponsive (b), if you shoot me fifty text messages in a row (c), I will find something you love and burn it.


(a): I have this fucking thing. Out of the three cell phones I have had in the last 14 years, it is, by far, the worst one out of the lot. Every part of this phone performs worse than it has any right to. The feature that prompted this goddamned post is the phone's lack of a setting to auto-delete text messages, coupled with it's extremely small internal memory for such. It holds 140 messages at a time, in and out. After dicking around with it for a while, it will now automatically delete the oldest incoming message when I get a new one, but will not free up space if I'm trying to send one out. This is horseshit. My last phone held 180 in, 180 out, and would auto delete the oldest message as needed, and gave me the option to lock messages that I didn't want purged.
Other 'features' include a substandard camera, the inability to see any of your contacts' information when you're not in service, shitty reception, short battery life, and the worst sound quality ever. Seriously, using this thing as an actual phone is about on par with getting ear fucked by spastics.

(b) I do occasionally sleep. Also, my phone gets shit for service in a lot of places. Even better, it can't figure out timestamps with any degree of accuracy, so I will occasionally get your replies 'before' a message I sent to you, in which case the phone doesn't alert me to an incoming message. Or, I'm busy and not answering my phone.

(c) Seriously, do not send me a shitload of 'hey!' text messages. I hate this more than people leaving me voice mail. I will eventually see your call or message and be in an appropriate place to respond. If I have to manually clean a bunch of shit off my phone because you're acting like fucking navi, I will burn something you like. Patience is a virtue, do some deep breathing exercises or something, I will get back to you at some point.