"So, you've been talking about OZ lately."
Yup.
"I wonder if the violence is realistic in that show."
Well. I worked at a juvenile detention center for a year and change, and I got shanked in the neck by a kid, so I'd say that yeah, it probably is.
"Oh. Uh. Wow."
And this is why most of my co-workers don't talk to me when I'm on a smoke break.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
I am going to be a nitpicky asshole about programming
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Monday, October 6, 2014
Old people, please stop being awful
This evening, I got a Clerks 2 style wakeup call after doing my regular readings on the Internets. I've known for a while that H.P. Lovecraft, like many old people, had a dim view of native Americans, women, and Minorities in General. And I was more or less able to disassociate that from his writing. I am a huge whore for HPL, I've got most or all of his printed Mythos stuff, and a ton of related movies, books, CDs, etc.
In Clerks 2, one of the characters finds out the etymology of the phrase "porch monkey", a favorite phrase of a much beloved relative. Today, I found out about this poem.
That, ladies, gentlemen, and readers, is a full-on poem by HPL using "nigger" not in the Mark Twain 'this is what uneducated dudes called black people' sense, but the more general 'black people are an inferior sub-species' sense.
At this point, I am going to exercise my White Male Privilege (because I can!), and say "Can people who wrote stuff I find interesting stop being Assholes?" Stranger in a Strange Land was pretty good. Heinlein was a dickhead. Ender's Game was a lot of fun, as far as space books written about child warriors go. Orson Scott Card is an enormous piece of shit. I still re-read One Hundred Years of Solitude every so often, but Gabriel Marquez has some serious fuckin-related issues that need to be addressed, cancer and death notwithstanding. Do Not get me started on Piers Anthony, his books aren't even good.
So, am I supposed to chuck out my Lovecraft stuff? I really like At the Mountains of Madness, and Dreams in the Witch House, and Rats in the Walls, and and and. I also live in a city where we have ongoing race related issues. Some People would assume that since we have Solved Racism, this is probably not a thing I need to think about. They . . . do not live here.
Yeah. Well. For a goofy looking fucker who wrote about indescribable cosmic horrors, HPL is now part of the problem, in my book. I want to respect the writing, I can no longer tolerate the man.
In Clerks 2, one of the characters finds out the etymology of the phrase "porch monkey", a favorite phrase of a much beloved relative. Today, I found out about this poem.
That, ladies, gentlemen, and readers, is a full-on poem by HPL using "nigger" not in the Mark Twain 'this is what uneducated dudes called black people' sense, but the more general 'black people are an inferior sub-species' sense.
At this point, I am going to exercise my White Male Privilege (because I can!), and say "Can people who wrote stuff I find interesting stop being Assholes?" Stranger in a Strange Land was pretty good. Heinlein was a dickhead. Ender's Game was a lot of fun, as far as space books written about child warriors go. Orson Scott Card is an enormous piece of shit. I still re-read One Hundred Years of Solitude every so often, but Gabriel Marquez has some serious fuckin-related issues that need to be addressed, cancer and death notwithstanding. Do Not get me started on Piers Anthony, his books aren't even good.
So, am I supposed to chuck out my Lovecraft stuff? I really like At the Mountains of Madness, and Dreams in the Witch House, and Rats in the Walls, and and and. I also live in a city where we have ongoing race related issues. Some People would assume that since we have Solved Racism, this is probably not a thing I need to think about. They . . . do not live here.
Yeah. Well. For a goofy looking fucker who wrote about indescribable cosmic horrors, HPL is now part of the problem, in my book. I want to respect the writing, I can no longer tolerate the man.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Quick thoughts on Apple Pay
This is a terrible fucking idea.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, OK, I suppose I can give it more time than that. Apple Pay is Apple's new thing to use your iDevice to pay for stuff without the hassle of things like cash or credit cards. So, it's like PayPal or Google Wallet, or a prepaid VISA card, or, well, you get the point.
Except!
It's revolutionary, because Apple.
I realize that I have a long history of hating all over Apple's stuff, so I'm going to try to be as objective as possible with this.
Security is Hard. Let's repeat for the slow kids in the class: Security is Hard. For anyone who's been paying attention to this topic for a while, there's been a recent rash of well known brands getting knocked over. All those links in the last sentence? Different incidents. And that is by no means an exhaustive list.
Even companies that are good at security have a hard time with it. Apple on the other hand, has a terrible history with doing things in a secure fashion. Remember GoTo Fail? All those iPad accounts getting cracked? The Fappening? All that stuff is recent. And analysis of stuff like the GoTo Fail bug shows that this is the kind of error that will be caught by common, standard tools when you're writing code. Which implies that Apple is writing their stuff without any safety measures, code review, or standards.
So, do you think it is a good idea to trust your money with a company that has a history of doing security poorly, when the evidence indicates that there are many more exploits coming in the future?
If you still think Apple's stuff is secure, go review the results of the Pwn2Own contest in the link above. Apple's devices and software gets knocked over as an afterthought once someone provides a financial incentive.
Kids, don't put your money in Apple Pay right away.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, OK, I suppose I can give it more time than that. Apple Pay is Apple's new thing to use your iDevice to pay for stuff without the hassle of things like cash or credit cards. So, it's like PayPal or Google Wallet, or a prepaid VISA card, or, well, you get the point.
Except!
It's revolutionary, because Apple.
I realize that I have a long history of hating all over Apple's stuff, so I'm going to try to be as objective as possible with this.
Security is Hard. Let's repeat for the slow kids in the class: Security is Hard. For anyone who's been paying attention to this topic for a while, there's been a recent rash of well known brands getting knocked over. All those links in the last sentence? Different incidents. And that is by no means an exhaustive list.
Even companies that are good at security have a hard time with it. Apple on the other hand, has a terrible history with doing things in a secure fashion. Remember GoTo Fail? All those iPad accounts getting cracked? The Fappening? All that stuff is recent. And analysis of stuff like the GoTo Fail bug shows that this is the kind of error that will be caught by common, standard tools when you're writing code. Which implies that Apple is writing their stuff without any safety measures, code review, or standards.
So, do you think it is a good idea to trust your money with a company that has a history of doing security poorly, when the evidence indicates that there are many more exploits coming in the future?
If you still think Apple's stuff is secure, go review the results of the Pwn2Own contest in the link above. Apple's devices and software gets knocked over as an afterthought once someone provides a financial incentive.
Kids, don't put your money in Apple Pay right away.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Peak Fox News!
I have held off from posting about the Ray Rice shenanigans. Partly, because I am busy enjoying a schadenfreude high from all the dumb shit said by news anchors and NFL personalities after the Elevator Cage Match video was released, and many people got to look retroactively abhorrent due to the dumb shit they said.
Fox "News" has forced me to break down and write some words. Obviously, I hope that I will never again have to type that sentence.
If you haven't been exposed, the short version is that a video was leaked showing NFL player Ray Rice dragging his unconscious girlfriend / fiancé out of an elevator. The NFL decided that he wasn't looking good, and suspended him briefly. Then, an extended version of that video was shown where his girlfriend spat on him and yelled at the man, so he punched her in the face and bounced her head off a railing in said elevator, knocking her unconscious.
Ah. Well. Now This Is A Problem. This is where the apologists started looking like assholes. But! Thanks to Fox "News", we get the best possible defense of the stupid! It was her fault, because Ray Rice is the Real Victim!
Money Quote: "... that video makes him look better than before."
This is out of context, but I am not a Republican, so I will explain. The video shows an argument between Ray Rice and Janay Palmer arguing in an elevator. She is yelling at him, and spits on him. He then punches her in the head hard enough to bounce her head off the wall, knocking her unconscious, and drags her from the elevator. Please listen to the whole thing if you think I am quote mining or misinterpreting.
To Fox "News", this makes him look "better than before." You know, when we just saw him dragging a woman from an elevator.
My brain is melting trying to process this, so I am going to bring up the point that even in the UFC, they have weight classes. Yes, the arena where dudes are paid to commit felony assault on each other makes sure you are having a fair fight. Ray Rice is an NFL running back, he weighs north of 250 lbs., and is punching an unarmed woman in the head. Fox "News" chooses to interpret this as a valid response or somesuch nonsense.
Seriously, A.J. Delgado paints Ray Rice as the real victim here. Because he is in trouble for beating up a girl. Apparently, domestic violence is a complete myth, and when a huge dude pounds on some broad for annoying him, she should have just shut her whore mouth and "Taken the Stairs".
Christ Fox "News". I can't even parody this shit.
Fox "News" has forced me to break down and write some words. Obviously, I hope that I will never again have to type that sentence.
If you haven't been exposed, the short version is that a video was leaked showing NFL player Ray Rice dragging his unconscious girlfriend / fiancé out of an elevator. The NFL decided that he wasn't looking good, and suspended him briefly. Then, an extended version of that video was shown where his girlfriend spat on him and yelled at the man, so he punched her in the face and bounced her head off a railing in said elevator, knocking her unconscious.
Ah. Well. Now This Is A Problem. This is where the apologists started looking like assholes. But! Thanks to Fox "News", we get the best possible defense of the stupid! It was her fault, because Ray Rice is the Real Victim!
Money Quote: "... that video makes him look better than before."
This is out of context, but I am not a Republican, so I will explain. The video shows an argument between Ray Rice and Janay Palmer arguing in an elevator. She is yelling at him, and spits on him. He then punches her in the head hard enough to bounce her head off the wall, knocking her unconscious, and drags her from the elevator. Please listen to the whole thing if you think I am quote mining or misinterpreting.
To Fox "News", this makes him look "better than before." You know, when we just saw him dragging a woman from an elevator.
My brain is melting trying to process this, so I am going to bring up the point that even in the UFC, they have weight classes. Yes, the arena where dudes are paid to commit felony assault on each other makes sure you are having a fair fight. Ray Rice is an NFL running back, he weighs north of 250 lbs., and is punching an unarmed woman in the head. Fox "News" chooses to interpret this as a valid response or somesuch nonsense.
Seriously, A.J. Delgado paints Ray Rice as the real victim here. Because he is in trouble for beating up a girl. Apparently, domestic violence is a complete myth, and when a huge dude pounds on some broad for annoying him, she should have just shut her whore mouth and "Taken the Stairs".
Christ Fox "News". I can't even parody this shit.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
For the hard working man
I now have the exact thing to buy next time I have the opportunity to fuck an entire town.
Monday, September 8, 2014
The Marvel cinematic universe continues to impress me
The Marvel movies are doing a really good job with featuring a lot of my favorite C-list heroes and villains, to the point where I almost feel like they're just fucking with me. When Marvel started doing movies seriously, I expected to see stuff like the X-men, Avengers, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and Captain America.
I did not expect to see dudes like Drax the Destroyer, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Vision, or Adam Warlock. To be fair, Luke and Danny are getting shows, but still.
Well, if Marvel wants to keep throwing in characters to make me happy, they can add Deathlok, Ms Marvel (Carol Danvers), Wonder Man, Firelord and Morbius at some point. I could throw out a bunch of X-men or Spider-Man characters, but that ain't going to happen any time soon, and I'd rather not see them getting ruined by the company that will not be named in their crappy franchise-grab flicks.
The only other longshot? Mother Fucking Namor the First, the Avenging Son, the Sub-Mariner. Apparently, Marvel hocked the movie rights to Namor back in the day to keep the doors open and lights on, so he's literally been saving the entire Marvel universe for decades. But, as a fan, I must add: Namor is the ruler of Atlantis, and takes zero shit for looking like Mr. Spock wearing a speedo. Marvel, get the rights back from Universal and get Zachary Quinto on this. Imperius Rex!
I did not expect to see dudes like Drax the Destroyer, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Vision, or Adam Warlock. To be fair, Luke and Danny are getting shows, but still.
Well, if Marvel wants to keep throwing in characters to make me happy, they can add Deathlok, Ms Marvel (Carol Danvers), Wonder Man, Firelord and Morbius at some point. I could throw out a bunch of X-men or Spider-Man characters, but that ain't going to happen any time soon, and I'd rather not see them getting ruined by the company that will not be named in their crappy franchise-grab flicks.
The only other longshot? Mother Fucking Namor the First, the Avenging Son, the Sub-Mariner. Apparently, Marvel hocked the movie rights to Namor back in the day to keep the doors open and lights on, so he's literally been saving the entire Marvel universe for decades. But, as a fan, I must add: Namor is the ruler of Atlantis, and takes zero shit for looking like Mr. Spock wearing a speedo. Marvel, get the rights back from Universal and get Zachary Quinto on this. Imperius Rex!
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