A post from my undisclosed location

I am Back, after a hiatus spent drinking cheap booze having adventures, and doing things yr. parents should have warned you about. And I find myself filled to the brim with disgust & loathing for my guilty vice, politics. So. It is Time to blast the music and annoy the neighboors with a cobbled-together rant. I have a house-full of Maniacs & Degenerates and some of these horse fuckers have voted Republican in the last ten (10) years. The shame this brings me is immense, and I am tempted to locate whips and other objects of self mortification. No right-thinking person can, in these dark days, still think there is anything of value left in that desecrated corpse of a party. But here we are. As far as I can tell through the haze of a great many beers, these individuals think that less taxes and personal safety are good things. And That is a Good Enough reason to vote for what must be the vilest party to have slithered forth since the Khmer Rouge. The modern Republican part is made up of dog-rapists that in any sane society would be dragged into the streets and kicked to death for the good of the neighborhood. No negotiation can be done with these soul-fuckers, they are, down to the last individual, shifty motherfuckers of the first water. The proudly proclaim their ignorance of science, mathematics, economics, and government with every breath from their slack-jawed mouths. Also, they are racist pieces of shit, and goddammit, did we not already win a war against these fuckers? It is enough force a normal & well-adjusted man to yell "FUCK!" on crowded streets and frighten schoolchildren knowing that these assholes are winning contests for election. Every time I see "Tea party" on some handout or website, I want to shit in the eyes of anyone involved. Less taxes? Fuckers, we ARE paying less taxes. Personal Safety? I want to vomit blood. NIXON did more with the government than these assholes. We now deal with a party that wants to be elected on the platform that they hate government and in their fever-dreams will do Nothing with their term in office to make our Great Country better. Fuck them. If someone asks me for a job and states proudly & loudly that they will do Nothing, I throw them to the curb with the rest of the trash. Yr. religion or party won't let you sell legal medication? Go Fuck Yourself. You are fired and can sell pencils. And this is an epidemic! It is enough to make you want to vomit blood and drink cheap whiskey. But No, folding now would let these Jackals laugh long into the night, and we would be better served burning their corpses as fuel to dance naked around the fire, be warm, and have a Good Time. Fuck Them. Keep Fighting. More To Come. -n

oh, this is adorable

I liked this site better when it was Sadly, No!
But, when people who don't cite sources write stuff that pretends to be mainstream, reality tends to kick you in the ass for your hubris.

protip: if you're going to be a right wing douchebag on the internet, please remember that we all have google in another tab at this point.

FUCK YES.

how the fuck did I miss this?
Alan Motherfucking Turing!

Celebrate by doing some math you bastards, get to work on P vs NP or A.I. or something.

Public service announcement

This comes courtesy of Kaoklai Kaennorsing, Muay Thai, and your local hospital's triage team.
Do not, repeat: DO NOT, let little asian dudes kick you in the head, it will turn you into a motherfucking zombie.

I don't know why I haven't been killed yet either.

Or: Why there is no measurable difference between me in a good mood vs. me in a shitty mood.

Or: Things you really, really shouldn't say / do in bed.

To protect the guilty, I am not putting names up for any of this. Was reminded this weekend of my lack of a 'filter' to keep me from saying horrible shit that I personally find amusing, regardless of circumstance, in this case; mid/post coital.


"Are you ticklish?"
'yes?'
"Neat! So's your sister!"

"Be colder. Move less."

"Happy birthday, Grandma!"

"Chad, you're awesome!"

"That'll teach you to say you have standards in public."

"Ha Ha!", followed by giggling, clapping and pointing at my nether regions.

"Sorry about the herpes."

"Well, that was degrading for everyone involved. 10 minutes?"

"You know [name redacted] is going to commit suicide over this right? Because I'm not sure I can avoid telling them. And touching myself while doing so."

"My new nickname for you is 'Scott's sock drawer'"

Goddammit

I swear, this isn't the "I drink like a fucking maniac, ha ha" blog.
But.

Well. Science.

It's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it

I drink, because I'm obviously a fucking genius.