Let's break this down. I am using, for reference, this version.
0:05 in, we get this fade-in:
This. . . This appears to be a young woman with a PSY fan. I can't speak to the marketing genius of putting a cartoon version of oneself on a fan, but OK, I can live with this.
Oh look, PSY is lounging and being fanned by this woman. OK, that's fine.
...
Wait. What the hell? 0:15
He's lounging on a goddamned playground. That kid looks pretty pissed-off about the dude setting up shop with his chair & umbrella in the middle of their dodgeball field. PSY, starting a trend for the video, gives exactly zero fucks. When PSY feels it is time to chill, children can go straight to hell. He's setting up shop and having some PSY time.
Wait, weren't we just in some playground? Fuck it. Horses are going to be part of this. Shit just got real.
And the local children rejoice! With an impromptu Michael Jackson dance as PSY spits a mouthful of Everclear into the air. Having successfully recruited a batch of urchins to his cause, PSY continues his crusade on the human psyche.
And here it begins. 26 seconds in. This goddamned horse dance shows up for the first time. This is PSY, seen here mastering his form, in the same way as kung-fu masters observe animal fighting techniques and learn to wreck faces. Why dance like a horse? You are asking the wrong questions. PSY doesn't need to answer that, he is here to start a crusade of shenanigans and YOU WILL BE A PART OF IT.
Aaaaand they let him near models. PSY, not understanding human needs like "breathing" has a bunch of fans blow fake snow at him. He accepts this as an awesome thing to do. The models cringe like every woman I've ever dated and shield their mouths & noses. Also like every woman I've ever dated. PSY gives zero fucks, and proceeds onward toward the storm, dragging the frightened and uncomfortable women with him towards glory.
Now he's in a sauna. Dressed like a woman. This is all of 4 seconds later in the video. Pudgy dudes have no protection against PSY, he will cuddle the fuck out of you in a sauna, you WILL join the crusade. If you refuse:
BOOM! Fuck you karate dudes, all opposition will be eliminated. Some directors would ask "why do we need that shot?", PSY just says "We already shot the footage, now you put that shit in, this is going to be a damned masterpiece."
One minute, eleven seconds in. We dance in a barn! With models! They will also the horse dance!
PSY, buddy, you have literally not worn the same outfit for more than 5 seconds in a row and you've been terrifying the local populace. Why are you on a rampage of horse dancing all up in peoples' shit?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See, if I were to do this, that would be considered "assault". PSY decides that horse dancing at people going for a pleasant jog is a way to remind them that they are never safe. This is 1:17 into the video, and those women are frantically trying to find a way to run at full speed in reverse. PSY cackles and chases them off frame before heading on to
. . . horse dance on a boat. Of course he does. But the life vest! Safety first! Now! On to the local outdoor yoga class where PSY will
. . . Scream at womens' asses. I . . . I have no idea what's going on anymore. I will confess, I have done a lot of various pharmaceuticals at various points in my life, and I still indulge in the demon booze on a regular basis. This man is now one minute and forty seconds into this video and he has already taken a hard right at crazy-town and is busy plowing through the strip mall in insanity-ville.
Oh thank christ. Someone thought to stop this man, and has summoned a guy in full-on Game of Death Bruce Lee getup to put an end to this. Horse dancing models flee, to avoid the oncoming carnage.
Or dance-off. I can already see how this will end. PSY's horse dance technique is unstoppable. The only thing left here is the gloating.
By having a young man in a cowboy hat sporting a PSY medallion do pelvic thrusts in an elevator. In all honesty? I can't think of a better way to show dominance. This is how I want to show up to an event, at least once in my life. You aren't getting on this elevator, this one is reserved for champions.
Let the above image soak in, and think about what went in to that shot: PSY is wearing a suit chilling on the floor, he's not even the focus of this. He's got a dude, whose sole purpose in life right now is to dance like a maniac over him, dressed in Roman legion sandals, 80s shorts, a cowboy hat, some lime-green shirt with a tail (!), and a medallion with his own face on it. And that guy looks ecstatic about it. PSY is brainwashing the world.
Random girls on the bus are even falling prey to this. PSY is a cult leader with no standards - you're in the elevator? HORSE DANCE. You're on the bus? DANCE MOTHER FUCKER. It no longer matters, everyone is going to get in on this. Also? We're just over 2 minutes in.
That glazed-but-happy look on her face? That is acceptance.
PSY surfaces in yet another bath house, just to remind people: you are safe nowhere. PSY will find you. And there will be horse dancing. PSY never stops. He never sleeps. There is no escape. Hell, he probably does this when he's
Yes. Yes he does. The bar has been raised. Do you indoctrinate people when you're on the shitter? No? Get out of here, PSY doesn't never stop. This is now his world, we're just living in it. And horse dancing.
How ubiquitous is this shit? Youtube changed their damn code for this video. I am not lying:
